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101 Stoner tips and tricks for beginner marijuana smokers

09/30/2019 | Jonathan Hunter | Lifestyle

If you are new to smoking weed then these 101 stoner tips and tricks for beginner smokers will help you get started.

When you are new to smoking cannabis you may notice certain habits and traditions when smoking with a group of people or your friends. Most of these are mere suggestions but we go through some of them. From the classic smoking at 4:20PM to passing to the left we break down the rules with 101 stoner tips and tricks for beginner weed smokers.

#1 – When smoking a bong do not cough into it while taking a hit!

The bong water and debris will shoot out the sprocket onto your mates only pair of jeans and cause the flat to stink up for days! Make sure to only pack what you can comfortably smoke otherwise take small hits by lighting only one side of the bowl. And if you smoking out a good dab rig, be extra careful!

#2 – If you are that guy be prepared to clean up.

We not just talking about smudging it in either with your t-shirt. Prepare some warm soapy water and prepare to scrub your heart out! Make sure it’s completely clean and wait for it to dry and then scrub it again! Bong water is the worst smell so don’t be the guy that spills the bong or blows back his hit. And if you end up breaking it, you bought it. I would personally say sorry with a weed subscription box, but thats just me.

#3 – If you late to a session step in line.

If you late to the smoke session do not just slot yourself in the queue. Move into the right of the current smoker so that you have to wait a full rotation before you turn. Everybody was there to smoke and so late comers should go to the back of the line and wait their turn like everyone else.

#4 – Pass left, alright? The age old stoner tip.

Don’t move around or try to pass to a newcomer on the right. This is just rude for everyone waiting to smoke and expecting a hit in line. Of course when you new you may get too stoned and pass it right but be sure to get a weird look from the guy that just smoked and for him to correct you.

#5 – Contribute some weed whenever you can.

When you invited to go smoke out with your mates don’t always rely on that one friend to bring all the stash. Contribute each time with something decent you may have found that week and you will be amazed at how you will be blessed in return. If you never bring weed don’t expect to be invited to smoke very often.

#6 – Don’t complain about free grass.

If you did not bring it don’t diss it. Free weed is well. Free. And so there is no point telling your friend how bunk it is while smoking half his stash. If the weed is too bad for you or you don’t like lower grade marijuana then simply refrain from your round. Tell them you ok and don’t feel like smoking. They won’t mind as they will all get a bigger portion of the joint without you.

#7 – Only leave after a smoking session is complete.

If you must leave a session politely tell your friends you have to go, but do not simply walk away from a smoke session. Some may find it offensive and rude. The smoke session is a form of social bonding like having a beer at a pub. You wouldn’t leave your friends midway through a beer, would you?

#8 – If you leave a smoke session and come back prepare to roll one.

Once you leave a smoking session it is generally not polite to rejoin as many people in the group may be expecting a last puff with one less person in the group. If you must rejoin a smoking session pass on joint that’s currently going around and roll up another one from your own stash. If you don’t know how to roll yet check out our weed hacks or check his infographic from Outliers Collective and learn fast!

#9 – Don’t blow your smoke at people.

Keep your exhales away from the group as having smoke being blown into your face during a session is not fun and can ruin the vibes completely. Blow upwards or slightly behind you to the side.

#10 – If you know you get thirsty or cough when you smoke, bring some liquids.

Coughing can get even the hardest smoking lungs but if you know you are easily taken, bring some water, juice or soda to ease the burn. Someone coughing a lot in between their turn can really destroy the flow of conversation. Of course a few coughs are fine but try not to be coughing more than not. This is one of the essential 101 stoner tips and tricks for beginner marijuana smokers.

#11 – And if you must cough for Pete sakes cover your mouth.

Nobody wants your spit on them or to get any of your germs so the least you can do is cover your mouth with your hand or better yet a tissue. Never splutter all over the floor like a lunatic!

#12 – Smoke tricks are not for the group sessions.

Do this on your own time, with your own marijuana. Wasting time and smoke trying to create smoke tricks is not going to impress anyone or make anyone like you more. Keep it simple by taking a clean puff and exhale.

#13 – Don’t bogart that joint.

Everyone wants to get high and if you smoking more than your fair share people will think you greedy. After a hit or two pass it on. This one is such a old classic that it has its own songs bout it.

#14 – If you are being a greedy stoner you better have some more cannabis to roll another.

This should be the only reason to be greedy. If you brought a fat bag, or it’s your weed go right ahead and enjoy it. It is always wise to keep everyone smoked up but if you feel like you want an extra hit go for it. Be sure to be ready to roll another shortly afterwards, though.

#15 – When the joint is almost cashed let the next person know.

At the end of the joint or bong normally there is one or two extra drags to ‘cash’. Always ask the next person if they would like the ‘last puff’ before finishing it off.

#16 – If you happen to be at the end of a joint or bong and are not high yet do not demand a reload.

If you did not get high, so what. Next time bring some weed with yourself so that you can make sure you are always getting enough. If your friends didn’t leave you any joint or bong by the time it gets to you politely tell them it’s cashed rather than being angry or keeping quite, though.

#17 – Appreciate the smoke and the person that supplied.

Always thank the person that brought the weed for inviting you and getting you high. A small word of genuine appreciation can go a long way.

#18 – Not enough weed? Try hotboxing or vaping.

A joint or two can go a long way when hotboxing a small room or space and get everyone a little more stoned. We not sure if it is the smoke that makes you more stoned or just the way the smoke surrounds you and burns your eyes. It is definitely fun though. We suggest getting a cheap vaporizer for under $50 to really save your dope and make it last longer.

We review the Best Vape this year. The Pax 3

#19 – If you are planning on partaking in a hotbox make sure you can handle it.

This 101 stoner tips and tricks for beginner marijuana smokers is a must. If you feeling dizzy or lightheaded lie on the floor if there is space. Don’t open the door or window and ruin it for everyone else in the space. Just relax and drink some water or sugary cool drink or take a deep breath and enjoy it.

#20 – If you drop the joint, pick it up and pass it.

This is one of the great 101 stoner tips and tricks for beginner marijuana smokers. If you drop a joint it’s not the end of the world. Pick it up, dust it off in need be and pass it along. The next person can relight it if it has gone out and carry on smoking.

#21 – If you can’t hold a roach make a roach clip or ask someone else.

A joint can get hot at the end if the person has rolled it with no filter so make a small roach clip from a piece of card or ask one of your more seasoned friends to hold the roach for you so you can take a last puff.

#22 – Don’t help yourself to the fridge when you get the munchies.

Ask your mates if they want to go get some food rather. If the host offers something at their place then eat but don’t think everyone is so open to letting a hungry stoner raid the kitchen.

101 stoner tips and tricks for beginner marijuana smokers: mmmm.. Hotdogs.

#23 – Don’t act stupid or childish when you high.

Everyone knows marijuana does not make people stupid so don’t act. Be yourself and chill out. If you get giggly but nobody else is in on the joke calm yourself down by going to the bathroom or outside.

#24 – Don’t repeat things when you stoned.

If you going to talk over and over about your latest grow or the strain you smoked last month you going to lose friends fast amongst stoners. Be chilled and let everyone talk about their interests and hobbies without you repeating yourself.

#25 – Don’t pass out anywhere.

If you going to pass out find a suitable place and don’t just pass out on the floor in the lounge. Find a couch or ask your friend if you can lie down somewhere for awhile.

#26 – If you going to need a nap set an alarm for yourself.

It is nobody but your own responsibility to make sure you are awake when you need to be. Set an alarm for an hour max so you don’t overstay your welcome. Don’t be ‘that guy on the couch’.

 #27 – If you drove but you waaaay too blazed to drive tell us.

Nobody wants to die just because you got too high and were ashamed to say it. Tell the group that you feeling too stoned to drive and let somebody else drive. Maybe you just low on sugar and so tell them to drive to the nearest Burger King pronto.

I do not want to go to jail either so lay off the huge blunts in car too!

#28 – When all the good places are closed.

There is always old Del Taco. Not the greatest meal you can have but at 2AM it is not so bad and tends to just taste better. Maybe a placebo effect from taking so long to get food, who knows, but Del Taco does the trick.

#29 – Before venturing on a late night munch mission leave most cash at home.

While you may be dreaming of a tray full of mini burgers you won’t be able to eat them all! Take enough money as you would take to buy a meal and some snacks. Even better is to set your mind on your meal beforehand so that you do not get overwhelmed with choices while in line.

#30 – Before you roll up smell the flowers.

Ask to look at the buds or if you brought your own even better. Take a small bud and give it a smell and take in the characteristics of the strain. It will leave you appreciating the smoke more and teach you to be able to identify strains more easily.

#31 – When the joint is lit try not to talk too much.

Everyone is there to enjoy their puffs. So do not ruin it by trying to engage with the person holding the spliff. Let them enjoy their turn the way they would like too. And most tend to want to concentrate on the hit rather than your story of how good the bud is trimmed or how you think it is not ‘the real OG Kush’.

#32 – If you know stoners are having a sesh in a room, knock.

This is one of the first 101 stoner tips and tricks for beginner marijuana smokers you should learn. Everyone gets a little paranoid, even the most seasoned pro. So knock first and make your presence known before entering so that you do not unintentionally ruin someone’s vibe mid-toke.

#33 – Do not fake being a stoner.

Cannabis smokers come from all walks of life so be yourself. Nobody likes someone that pretends to be a stoner when they are really not. If you have a different way of life project that to the group and I am sure they will respond with interest.

#34 – Do not phone your connection late at night.

Make sure you have enough cannabis in the day if you plan to smoke in the evening as your bud dealer is not your coke dealer! Generally, dealers that sell cannabis do not stay awake late at night waiting on customers and will most likely not even answer your call. Send a text early the next morning and wait for his reply rather.

#35 – Rinse out your pieces multiple times during a sesh.

Dirty bongs and pipes are the worst! Not only do they totally destroy the flavor of herb but they stink up a room, look nasty and are a potential hazard for your carpet. After every round in a session give your pieces multiple rinses and then clean them thoroughly after the session is over.

#36 – Girls generally get a pass on the ‘bring your own weed’ rule.

Do not expect girls to bring weed to the session. If you invited them they most likely think you are supplying the smoke. So make sure you have enough and if they do bring something show mad love and marry that woman!

#37 – Weed before alcohol never alcohol before weed.

If you drink first smoke later you going to have a bad time. The ‘greenies’ come from smoking cannabis after a few drinks. Best is to have a joint before drinking. That way you will most likely drink a lot less and still be able to smoke a joint. Most of the time though alcohol and weed just do not mix unless you keep your consumption of both to a minimum.

#38 – If someone is acting the fool let them know.

Casually tell them that they may be acting a little out of control. Perhaps they are not aware and need someone to keep them in check a little. Ask them if they would like to go somewhere less public and get some fresh air to relax.

#39 – A drop of Visine and public is normal again.

When going out in public stoned either pop a drop of Visine in the eyeballs to get rid of those red eyes or wear some shades. Act normally. Nobody knows you high. Enjoy yourself and have fun.

#40 – When you see the police while high in public stay normal.

Do not do anything weird or change your behavior. The police do not know you high either so just carry on enjoying your day. Do not act suspicious or fall silent if you were in the middle of a loud conversation. Carry on and ignore them.

#41 – Don’t freak your friends out in public.

Paranoia can spread like wildfire. So do not panic your friends or cause a scene in public. Most likely your friends will start panicking and do something stupid.

#42 – Don’t prank the Del Taco drive through window.

They know that you are either high or drunk so do not try to be funny with the drive through at 2AM. If you ruin the night for them they may just tamper with your food.

#43 – Mc D and Denny’s are also 24 hours.


#44 – Late night fresh fries hack.

Tell them you want your fries with no salt as you cannot eat high sodium. They put the salt on each batch in the tray and so will have to fry an new batch for your order. Even at 3AM, you will have piping hot fries. (Take your own salt)

#45 – Ignore the paranoia.

Don’t get freaked out when someone is staring at you. People stare at each other all the time and it is most likely not because you high. Ignore them and carry on. Try not let other people around you ruin your vibe.

#46 – Having sex while intoxicated on marijuana is great.

Marijuana makes sex better. Being stoned allows you to be more sensual and in the moment. It allows women to feel more comfortable with their bodies and creates a better atmosphere. Stoner couples tend to have better, longer and more enjoyable sex than non-stoner couples.

#47 – Posters you thought were silly are probably still silly.

So do not get tempted into buying a psychedelic poster unless you think you would like it sober as well. Yes your taste might change a little when you become a full-time hippy but get a grip man! This is always one of the This is one of the essentail 101 stoner tips and tricks for beginner marijuana smokers I tell noobs.

#48 – Music can change everything.

Great music can define a smoking session and enhance it massively. Look for genre’s that are not too fast or dance-heavy so that the session is somewhat chilled and relaxing. Buzzfeed suggests finding a stoner playlist on your favorite site such as youtube or mixcloud.

#49 – Cheat on that health diet.

When you stoned chances are a lettuce is not going to do anything. Grab some salty nuts if you are really trying to stay on some form of a diet otherwise treat yourself to a large substantial burger and fries or Pizza.

#50 – Don’t peer pressure anyone.

If you offering someone a joint and they have never smoked before don’t pressure them. Just ask if they want to try it. If they don’t more for you. Do not force it on them.

#51 – Don’t smoke around non-smokers or people that do not like Cannabis.

You are ruining their space by invading it with the smell of reefer. They will also most likely ruin your buzz or judge you as a stereotypical stoner if you do.

#52 – Don’t smoke in public.

Police do exist so unless you are in a state that has legalized smoking marijuana in public, don’t. If you must smoke in public get a marijuana vaporizer and do it discretely somewhere away from the crowd.

#53 – Don’t carry more than you need.

This may seem obvious but do not carry more than you going to need to smoke. If you do get caught you do not want to have more than a few grams on you so that they see it is personal use only. Drug charges for dealing are strict and having more than a few g’s on you may be hard to explain.

#54 – Airtight containers are a must have.

Plastic bags leak air and allow bud to get stale. Grab yourself an airtight container and keep your bud fresh for longer. Always ‘burp’ your jar every day or two to allow some air exchange to take place. Airtight containers also allow you to carry your weed in public without your bag stinking like dank. Grab a Tightvac Container at VaporNation.com

#55 – Laughing is good while high.

Everyone likes to laugh while stoned and great jokes make for the best stoned times.

#56 – Too much laughing is annoying.

Laughing too much however can get really irritating and annoying to those that are not part of the joke. So keep private jokes to yourself and try not to giggle at everything.

#57 – If you blaze late at night forget waking up early.

Smoking really late at night is a disaster if you need to wake up early. I have personally slept through many alarm clocks from a late sesh. Cannabis can stay in the system for a long time and can leave a pretty good hangover of sorts. But if you really need to wake up after a late one, hit some strong coffee and smoke a small wake and bake to get yourself sorted.

#58 – Don’t count on non-stoners to understand your jokes while you high.

When you stoned your sense of humor may be different than those that haven’t smokes so don’t expect them to understand why you find something funny that they do not.

#59 – 2 for 1 and family deals.

Meal deals are everywhere. Look for daily deals and coupons so that when you high you know what is cheap that day that everyone will be able to afford. Make sure to check the hours the specials are available for so you don’t end up looking like a fool. This is one of my favorite 101 stoner tips and tricks for beginner marijuana smokers as we always end up getting way more food than usual.

#60 – Get the orders before ordering. Otherwise, it is too confusing to check.

Having everyone shout at you what they want over the phone or all at once at a drive through loud speaker might seem like the right thing to do at the time, having gotten everyone’s order and just letting one person handle it can make it a lot easier otherwise you may end up like these guys.

#61 – Proclaiming how high you are can get stale quick.

Everyone has said “Damn, I’m high.” while stoned. But telling people how high you are all the time can get really old and is not something people you want to be repeating over and over again.

#62 – Don’t be a lighter thief.

If you use someone’s lighter make sure not to pocket it. When you finish a smoking session check your pockets and make sure you only have your own lighters with you. If you have one you do not recognize ask the group and give it back.

#63 – Always carry your own lighter.

Carrying your own lighter is a must. Make sure you keep it at all times and if you give it to someone to use keep an eye on it and make sure you get it back from them when they are done lighting up otherwise you may just lose it. Hail Jane Mary suggests carrying two lighters and keeping one in the car.

#64 – Only use a mega torch for dabs.

Use a regular lighter for joints and bongs like a clipper. Strong torch lighters will destroy your weed before you can smoke it. Keep the torch lighters for heating up dab rigs only.

#65 – Don’t smoke with a zippo.

The lighter fluid will leave a weird taste in your mouth. If you must you use a zippo only use it for joints and take a few puffs before inhaling. Or better yet, use the zippo to light a small twig and light your joint from that.

#66 – Take the safety lock off cheap lighter.

With a sharp object like a screwdriver pull the metal strip off the lighter to make lighting easier. We not sure what they even put that on some lighters for.

#66 – If you ever drop a lighter in the bong hope nobody notices it.

If you drop the lighter in a bong just pray nobody noticed. Stay cool and let it ride. If they do notice just chill and offer to clean it out for them. Clean the lighter as well and put it in the sun to dry out.

#67 – Never use the top of the bong to rest anything on.

Don’t rest a lighter or piece of paper with weed in on top of the bong neck. Chances are a small bump or someone not noticing and picking the bong up will cause that sucker to fall right in. Gravity sucks but do not ignore it.

#68 – If you are not great at lighting a joint or bong evenly ask for help.

Lighting a bong or joint so that the burn is even can take getting used to. If you have not perfected the art yet simply ask for help and someone will give you a spark. Make sure to pull in slowly at first so that your pull does not put out the flame.

#69 – You do not need an expensive lighter.

Even snoop dog uses a good old clipper most of the time. Cheap lighter work just as well as a premium lighter and chances are you will lose your lighter eventually anyway. Keep the torch for your dab rig at home and a couple of cheap lighters lying around.

#70 – Keep yourself smelling fresh.

Get some cologne in a really small spray bottle like the ones you get on 1st class flights. Then after you smoke give yourself a single spray to mask the weed smell and a hit a mint or two. This will keep you smelling fresh so that you can enjoy your high in public without being paranoid people can smell you.

#71 – If the person that brought the smoke asks for a little cash for next time cough up.

If they regularly bringing the weed or have a connection to the best puff give them some cash for the next session. Even if they do not ask for cash it is polite to offer to pay them a little for the smoke or at least buy them a taco.

#72 – Don’t pass out on someone else’s bed unless they have given permission.

Where do you expect them to sleep? Always make your intentions known to your guest and tell them how long you plan to sleep there for and when you plan to leave. If they not cool then leave.

#73 – Take your own sleeping bag and snacks.

Do not expect a stoner to provide you with bedding or even a bed. Make sure you have a sleeping bag so that you are ready to pass out on a couch,  mattress or even the floor. This 101 stoner tips and tricks for beginner marijuana smokers will save you sleeping cold or with nothing but your hoodie on your back.

#74 – Beds are generally off limits.

Do not just crash on someone’s bed. It may be a house mates that only gets home late. Rather opt for the floor in the lounge so that you are not bothering anyone or taking someone’s personal space away from them.

#75 – Wake up earlier than your guest.

If you staying at a friends place or crashing at a stranger after a smoking session wake up early, clean up and leave before they get back. Nobody wants to see you in the morning and they most likely either want to sleep in without the hassle of a guest or they want to get ready for work or to go out without dealing with another person slowing them down.

#76 – If a host asks you to leave, get the f*** out!

They were nice enough to smoke you up so if they want privacy and want you to leave, oblige. Do not ask for a blanket or tell them you about to pass out. Even if they wake you up while passed out and ask you to leave just do it. A personal space is a personal space and you have no right to abuse that if they do not want your stinking a** hanging around.

#77 – If you pass out expect your friends to mess with you.

Perhaps the classic dicks on the forehead or the shaving home tickle trick. Expect the worst if you pass out amongst stoner friends. They fact is, you will most likely be messed with so check the mirror in the morning before walking out the door.

#78 – If you eating at a session clean up after yourself.

Make sure you do not leave any litter and make sure you clean the floor. Your host does not want to vacuum and pick up your rubbish every time you come over for a smoke. And if you pass out make sure you clean up most of the mess in the morning even if it wasn’t yours. Your guest will appreciate not having another day of cleaning up after stoners.

#79 – If someone invites you to smoke do not bring a friend.

Cannabis costs money and so do not just bring your friend with you. Make sure you go alone unless the person specifically mentioned other people as well. If you are going to bring your mates with make sure you have enough weed amongst you to get toked up.

#80 – Do not start fights high. You will lose.

Fighting while stoned is almost impossible. Your impairment will be slower and you probably will struggle to land punches or defend yourself very well. Avoid conflicts as much as you can and change the subject if tensions arise.

#82 – If someone always smokes you out at least bring the snacks.

Sometimes you will find someone that just always has and smokes a lot of bud. When you around these types of stoners at least provide the munchies or offer to order a pizza to keep things a little bit fair. They will appreciate smoking with you a lot more if they are also receiving some form of value from it.

#83 – Do not beg for free weed or ask your dealer to pay them later.

All you will get is nothing and be looked upon as a scrounger. Rather go without for a few days until you have enough money to buy your own stash. If you often give a person weed then asking them for some when they have is ok. Try order CBD online instead.

#84 – Don’t count on doing too much work once you high.

If you planned to do all your math homework or finish a lot of work after getting high forget it. Cannabis can leave you procrastinating for ages and making you unable to finish a blog post.

So there you have it… almost a 101 stoner tips and tricks for beginner marijuana smokers. I got too high to finish it and did not take my own advice.

Let me know in the comments what stoner tips and tricks you have for your fellow smokers. With your help I can add some more and actually make it 101 stoner tips and tricks for beginner marijuana smokers.

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