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10 Of the Best Stoner Riddles

In appreciation of nature’s best plant that we all love, here are some of the funniest weed-related riddles. It’s usually amazing how stoners are the smartest people on earth. They imagine things that a non-stoner wouldn’t, so it’s only best to celebrate and enjoy the moment. Let’s dive in!

1. What is reality?

Answer: An illusion that results from lack of good weed

Fact check – good weed helps us run away from reality, which is a great thing! After all who wants to keep getting headaches because of the reality we call life? Getting sparked is a great way of appreciating the beauty of the world that one may never get a glimpse of if they stick to reality. There is so much good out here, but that nagging boss or failed relationship will create a fog that doesn’t allow us to enjoy its mere existence. Next time reality prevents you from breathing some fresh air, pick a joint and sail away.

2. How long does it take before a pound of bud goes bad?

Answer: How would I know? I have never had it longer than an hour

 Before buying anything at the store, we check the expiry date to make sure we don’t get food poisoning. We want to know how long the frozen fish will last before going bad or how long the peas can stay in the freezer before it’s unsafe to cook them. What about joints? This is seldom a concern, especially considering that rarely do we keep it past a day. After all, who keeps a good thing waiting?

3. How do you know you have smoked enough pot?

Answer: when you start looking for instructions on how to use your lighter

It’s good to know when you have had too much joint to take so that you can halt. So, how do you figure out that time is ripe to stop smoking pot? Well, if you are unable to use your lighter because you forgot the directions of how to use it, you need to stop. The only problem is that you might not remember that this is a sign of having too much weed in your system. If your memory is good enough, remember to put the joint aside.

4. How do fish party?

Answer: Seaweed

Yea, fish also smoke pot. You know how they do that? Fish use seaweed. After all, there is a lot of weed in the sea for fish to use. Therefore, we can all celebrate knowing that our even the marine world has their version of weed to enjoy. Next time you are having a good time getting high, the thought of having the entire universe concur with you on the weed using business should comfort you.

5. How do you know you are a true stoner?

Answer: When you wash your bong more times than you wash your dishes

Once you dive into the world of true stoning, you understand the beauty of being high and you never want to go low. So, there is that persistent urge of being high all the time, which will definitely make you take your joint frequently. Thankfully, there aren’t any effects of washing your joint as many times as you wish. So, fire away! But remember that eating is important too.

6. What do you get when you eat marijuana?

Answer: A pot belly

When you are riddled this for the first time, you probably start thinking about things like a stomach ache and being high. Well, all those answers are wrong. It’s pretty much straightforward and hilarious – pot belly. Coming to think about it, all you get when you eat too much cake or cookies, whether they have weed in them or not, is a simple pot belly. So, it’s probably a big joke that has some seriousness in it – that you might get a pot belly. Funny; right?

7. What do you call a person who recalls what they did at Woodstock?

Answer: A liar

There is no better way to call anybody who claims to remember how they acted at Woodstock. Unless they were not stoned enough, which totally diminishes the reason for using weed in the first place, there is no way anybody can recall their weed experience. There is a lot of enjoyment in not remembering anything because you get to laugh at the stupid things you did while high. Just make sure you don’t get too many “stoned” tattoos.

8. What is the difference between a stoner and a drunken guy at a stop sign?

Answer: While the drunken guy runs it, the stoner would rather wait for it to turn green

This is what happens in real life. If you have never experienced it, get high and ask your friend to take you to a stop sign and film you when you are there. That clip will be the funniest in your gallery because you won’t believe it’s you waiting for a stop sign to turn green. Not sure if this is a weed thing, since weed is green, or it’s just the THC playing games with your head. All the same, it is good to know if this would be your reaction. So, do not hesitate to try this!

9. What is the difference between a stoner and a politician?

Answer: Politicians suck; they don’t inhale

Stoners are cool guys who are having a great time inhaling their favorite joint. On the other hand, politicians prefer sucking the good stuff in everyone’s life – well no offense. There is no way you can compare the great stoners and the somewhat awful politicians. Well, it’s all a joke with some hard facts in it.

10.Why did the stoner cross the street?

Answer: His dealer lives on the other side

If your dealer does live on the other side of the street, then it’s only logical to cross and get a joint. This is only the literal meaning, but well, I can’t figure out the hidden meaning. Probably we should wait for a stoner to riddle it then we can ask them what they mean. Besides, stoners are by far the most intelligent guys we have around!

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