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The Pokemon of Weed Apps is here.. And it sucks.

Is this “Ganjaman Go” a marijuana weed app solution to Niantic’s Pokemon Go?

In all the stupid shit we’ve made popular. Niantic’s Pokemon Go is by far the most insulting to our generations reputation. And now we have a Pokemon marijuana game as well. Lord help us.

We have made a lot of ill conceived concepts mainstream over the years. The most basic being the shallow attempt to temporarily fulfill our basic desire to convince ourself that were connected.

I didn’t want to hear them say their half brain dead ideas. Why would I want to read a composition of them?


No thanks, I prefer good music.

Pokemon go was as well thought as my three-year-old’s finger painting.

You take Pokemon Go side by side with Pokemon Red than tell me that go is the more complex game. I would probably forgive you for what you did to Curly’s wife.

Pokemon Red had an turn based battle simulator with multiple statistics. Stats that not only differed between different species of Pokemon, but also different individuals..

A four move set which  allows you to choose skills that scale of your unique Pokemon’s skill set.

And all that on a black and white screen in 1996!

Pokemon Go allows you to walk to places you’re not interested in going.

Hoping only that the game will allow being successful. With no way to influence such outcomes without spending real cash or playing more often. Which only gameplay it has is drained your battery while you walk around.

As a recap, our fellow men have decided that a game with no skill or strategy and is completely luck based with absolute zero gameplay value is our latest fad in modern day 2016.

20 years later and we have less role playing in our role playing games.

Yeah, let’s chalk that up to improvement. Sarc.

That’s not all here’s what’s the worst part of it all. They’re trying to pander this lame excuse for a concept to our beloved stoner community. And by slapping a bunch of hemp leafs over everything and pretending like it’s even slightly interesting without changing gameplay.

I think it’s an insult to our community that they think to appeal to our exclusive preferences. Just a simple change of spirits and color theme.

Why would we even want our own version of the exact same thing? The game is based around socializing. If I’m going to get high and catch Pokemon then I’m going to do it with my friend playing on my game boy. Or perhaps try Pokemon’s go just to have a laugh at all the other people out doing it.

The only reason the original did well on release was because we were going through the whole “romanticize the 90’s” phase.

Apparently, that is the generation writing most publications these days so it has to be monthly.

If anyone would like to argue the fact of if the gameplay helped at all with the sells opening week. Get the App Stores report and see that beautiful one and a half stars because it was a huge disappointment.

Well if was so poorly received then why has it lasted so long? You ask Bo Burnham how metro country singers sell songs. Textbook pandering.

You can slap a poke ball on anything and make it sell.

Niantic’s tactic was simplistic a best. They just took away anything another constant grinding to make the game easy to learn. Aimed it at all audiences. Then let mainstream media fall in love with it.

I raise the question again would a weed lovers copy of the game be beneficial to anyone?

If so what would it benefit me? Well if the game ever actually hits the market instead of just being a leak from my experience with games trying to ride the coat tail of the hype of another game. It should run out of funding in no time.

The only traction this game has is the excitement of seeing the artist interpretation of Mary Jane based Pokemon. The attraction to that well is over the second the images hit Google or you read this blog post.

How could the designer help give their reimagining chance of surviving they can? There’s one major difference between the smoker community and the Pokemon community.

The smokers strive off socializing before the existence of mobile phone and portable gaming devices. We have a physical object to associate without our version.

A creative idea is to use something like this version of gaming to encourage smokers to be more active. Then it might even outlive Niantic’s original. Not because of the fad but by being value added to the community.

Trends never last long and Pokemon go is barely even a fad. The more I try and dig to try to find a ray of hope for Ganjaman Go the more ridiculous the concept seems.

I have a hundred reasons why we should rise up as one and say we won’t let social media convince us that something as basic as Pokemon Go is cool. Why should we get stoked about the idea of them forcing their same rehashed replica down our windpipe again?

On the Ganjaman site at the bottom row, it reads “The best of both worlds” …..what?

How do you figure? Are you just a Pokemon go fan or a stoner? Or do you expect me to believe there’s a target audience that exists only when “Overly trendy, not a game” collides with “Poorly animated marijuana plants”?  Represented in some vin diagram labeled things that don’t make a good game.

This doesn’t even seem like two worlds here, more like a half a world if you pushed them together really hard.

Which they did, they had to really struggle to make this even more ridiculous idea than the original Go already capitalized on.

I can almost imagine Niantic’s board meeting.

Where the guy who always says stupid shit and gets ignored constantly stands up and pitches his big idea. It sounds something like this: “Let’s destroy a two-decade old icon by removing all the captivating gameplay mechanics and replace it with walking”. Then the guy next to him wants to be a dick so he leans over and whispers “let’s just humor him”. Now that first dumb ass is rich. Then there’s another group of programmers sitting around drinking coffee and whatnot when one of them says “let’s take Pokemon Go and make it less logical”.

Ganjaman was born because at least the augmented reality works with Pokemon but running around searching for bud by throwing little baggies isn’t even a previous situation.

In an attempt to give actually constructive criticism I’ll start with Ganjaman. It’s goofy but that’s alright.

Middle school males could end up pushing it to the top of the App Store. I wouldn’t download it myself until it finds a new angle while also leave the basic principles of catching bud monsters intact. Although I don’t think that bud monster within itself is enough to attract even the most infamous potheads among us.

As for Pokemon Go, I feel like it’s very unfinished as well.

It’s interesting that they added GPS and physical fitness but I don’t think it justifies the fact that it doesn’t resemble a game. It’s more like a step counter with virtual rewards.

Adding a level of talent to the game won’t destroy it play rate. However, I don’t think it’s good enough to be considered “Pokemon” until it does.

That being said I’d like to conclude this article by obviously answer the question at hand “Is Ganjaman Go the stoners answer to Niantic’s Pokemon Go?”

It definitely has potential to be if you so desire to make it be. It doesn’t have to be if you don’t want it too. It’s a little bit juvenile but so aren’t we. The two can coexist and everyone can enjoy their virtual monsters.

As for me personally, I won’t be content until these games are polished into the gems that the games of previous generations can be proud of. If you agree then let’s push Niantic to complete the game we deserve.

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